Friend zone just got serious in Japan's new marital trend

Traditional "love, honour and obey" vows? How antiquated! Japan's young'uns are getting hitched in droves – but keeping the canoodling firmly off the menu. This fresh take on "forever" is called the "friendship marriage", and it is redefining modern companionship.

According to a Hong Kong-based newspaper, around 1% of Japan's 124 million population have embraced this quirky trend, trading conventional romantic entanglements for something radically platonic. Thousands are becoming legally wedded life partners minus the amorous aspects.  

The data comes from Colorus, an agency specialising in these quirky conjugal arrangements. Since 2015, they have helped around 500 simpatico souls into marriages of pure companionship, with some even raising children platonically through artificial insemination. 

"It's more than friends, less than lovers," explained a marriage lawyer, who has seen a surge in besties becoming betrothed. The appeal is to have a like-minded live-in companion to split expenses, chores, and parenting duties, but without any obligatory canoodling.

The friendship marriage scene seems to be a perfect fit for Japan's asexual and LGBTQ communities, who can enjoy life-long company without compromising their identities. But it is not just about orientation – many opt for this modern model seeking genuine camaraderie over fleeting passion.

Far from marrying their BFFs, these platonic pairs meet, grill each other on life's mundanities – who does laundry, meal preferences, how to split the fridge – and, if compatible, combine forces. Skeptics may balk at such unromantic negotiations, but Colorus insists around 80% of friendship marriages defy the passion paradox.

With an average age of 32.5 and incomes exceeding the national norm, these couples are hardly struggling loners. Some homosexuals embrace the model to dodge traditional pressures, while others simply "feel lost" in conventional relationships. 

So while love-struck people scour dating apps for "The One," Japan's friendship-married pioneers are boldly bushwhacking a fresh path to lifelong companionship, minus the amour. Their soulmate wish-list is refreshingly simple: a partner in crime, personal chef, and permanent plus-one, all rolled into one platonically-bound package.