Fame, fear, and finding themselves: X:IN breaks idol mould in “Defend Myself”

The camera stops rolling, the stage lights dim, and the perfectly choreographed smiles fade. What’s left? For K-pop quintet X:IN, it’s a story they’re finally ready to tell; one that trades glitter for grit, and perfection for painful honesty.
After more than a year of silence that left fans questioning their future, the multinational girl group is back with “Defend Myself,” their third mini-album that reads less like a typical K-pop release and more like a diary entry written in the dark. Released on May 17, under their new label BeBy Entertainment, this isn’t just a comeback, it’s a confession.

The end of playing pretend

“Not everyone can see me in a good light, so I believe that there will always be some negative views as well,” admits leader E.sha, her voice carrying the weight of someone who has learned that fame comes with a price tag marked in criticism. “I am trying to stay centred and protect myself so that I don’t get swayed by every single opinion or judgment.”

It’s a far cry from the bubbly personas we’ve grown accustomed to seeing in K-pop interviews. But then again, X:IN seems determined to shatter every expectation we have about idol behaviour. The group, consisting of Korean members E.sha, Nizz, and Hannah, Russian member Nova, and Indian member Aria from Kerala, has chosen vulnerability over vanity, authenticity over artifice.

The album’s title, “Defend Myself,” isn’t subtle. It’s a battle cry wrapped in melody, a declaration that even idols have the right to protect their hearts from an industry that often treats them like pretty puppets rather than human beings.

“It’s an album about the feelings behind the glamorous appearance and our story of trying to protect ourselves in the confusion,” E.sha explains. “As you listen to the four songs in the album, you’ll notice the atmosphere continuously shifts.”

When craving attention becomes a curse

The album opens with “Attention Seeker,” a track that dares to explore the psychological paradox at the heart of fame. It’s about wanting to be seen until people actually start looking, really looking, and suddenly the spotlight feels less like warmth and more like a microscope burning holes through your soul.

Nova found herself emotionally invested in this track, particularly during the Russian bridge section. “It required a lot of emotion and expressive delivery. I had to convey anger, so I really poured my feelings into that section while recording,” she reveals. There’s something beautifully ironic about a Russian idol channelling rage in her native tongue for a Korean pop song; it’s the kind of cultural mashup that makes X:IN unique.

The music video is visually striking with its mystical props and arcane energy. Each member chose items that represented their personal struggles: Nova with a skull symbolising “beginning and end,” Aria with a ship and compass representing choice and consequence, E.sha with bandages representing “freedom restrained by wounds”. “When you are bound by wounds, you are unable to move, but if you have the will to break free, you can easily shake it off, or you might stay tied down and subdued forever,” E.sha explains about her chosen prop.

Nizz selected a flowering branch, explaining: “Even the things that might seem meaningless to others—like time, actions, etc.—can become something that holds meaning and can bloom beautifully to me.” It’s a poet’s perspective wrapped in idol packaging, finding beauty in the overlooked moments.

Hannah’s choice was perhaps the most haunting: a transparent orb representing “fear of the unknown.” As she explains, “The orb reflects oneself. Due to the uncertainty of the future, it might be covered with black fog, or shine brightly by believing in yourself. Everything is in your own hands.” The metaphor is visceral, holding your own fate, watching it shift between light and shadow based on your faith in yourself.

“When you are bound by wounds, you are unable to move, but if you have the will to break free, you can easily shake it off, or you might stay tied down and subdued forever,” E.sha explains about her chosen prop. It’s a  metaphor made manifest. The perfect visual representation of an album about breaking free from the chains of others’ expectations.

The magic and madness of love

The album continues with “수리수리마하수리 수수리 사바하 (SABAHA),” a base house track with occultish lyrics that treats love like a spell, which, let’s be honest, it often is. The title references a traditional incantation, perfectly complementing the theme of falling helplessly under love’s enchantment.

Hannah found her moment to shine in this track’s bridge: “No matter where you put me, I never fall, that’s my super magic,” she laughs, recalling her instant connection to the lyrics. “As soon as I saw the lyrics, I felt that this is the part I had to sing!”

It’s these moments of genuine excitement that remind us why we fell in love with X:IN in the first place. Even while exploring darker themes, their personalities shine through like sunlight breaking through storm clouds.

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Pride, paralysis, and 'almost' getting there

“Bitter Love” tackles the quiet agony of relationships caught in pride’s stranglehold, when you’re desperate to reconnect but can’t bring yourself to make the first move. It’s emotional paralysis set to melody, the kind of song that makes you want to text your ex at 2 am (please don’t).

Nizz describes it as the track that would be her best friend “because I think I’d take the lead and look out for them a lot.” Meanwhile, SABAHA would drive her crazy because “it feels like a friend with a charming laugh”—the kind of observation that makes you wonder if Nizz analyses all her relationships through song metaphors.

The album concludes with “Almost Done,” perhaps the most autobiographical track of all. It chronicles X:IN’s journey through “blood, sweat, and tears” toward becoming the artists they’ve always envisioned. The recurring refrain “I’m almost there” serves as both a mantra and a promise.

When asked to complete the sentence “I’m almost...” each member revealed their current state of mind:
E.sha: “I’m almost living my dream.” Nizz: “I’m almost close to happiness.” Nova: “I’m almost the person I dreamed of becoming, just a few more steps.” Hannah: “I’m almost falling asleep right now.” (Classic Hannah—keeping it real even during deep philosophical moments.) Aria: “I’m almost reaching my goals step by step.”

The real people behind the perfect image

Perhaps the most refreshing aspect of this interview is how the members acknowledge the gap between their public personas and private selves. Hannah, known for her fun and quirky image, admits: “Beyond the idol image, the person I am also has moments of darkness, feel emotions I never had before, and often thinks deeply about the future.”

It’s a reminder that idols aren’t just entertainment machines; they’re young people navigating fame, relationships, and self-discovery while the world watches. The pressure to maintain perfection can be suffocating, which makes X:IN’s decision to show their cracks all the more courageous.

Nova reveals an interesting group dynamic: “Nizz is definitely the one who can defend herself best out of all our members, despite her deceptively cute image. When needed, she’s articulate, constructive, and persuasive. She has a superpower: she can convince anyone that she’s right, so I really wouldn’t recommend arguing with her!” Meanwhile, “E.sha tends to cry a lot, so maybe that’s something she could work on a little.”

It’s the kind of casual honesty that makes you feel like you’re eavesdropping on friends rather than conducting a formal interview.

Leading through the chaos

As the leader, E.sha carries the weight of guiding her group through not just choreography and harmonies, but emotional turmoil. “Being the leader, I think staying centred was the most important thing. When the members felt uncertain or confused, I would reassure them by telling them that it was okay, we could handle it and figure it out together.”

Her approach reveals a maturity beyond her years: “I was reminded once again of how important it is to stay positive, and learned that once you actually take actions, you will always find a way to get through it.”
It’s leadership philosophy wrapped in K-pop packaging, the idea that sometimes the best thing you can do for others is simply refuse to panic.

Cultural bridge-building through music

For Aria, being the first K-pop idol from Kerala carries extra significance. Her performance at last year’s Falcon Festival in Assam was a homecoming of sorts: “It was an unforgettable experience as the energy from the crowd was super intense and it pumped me up so much.”

“It is always meaningful and extra special to me whenever we perform in India because it fills me with a sense of pride and joy,” she continues. Her presence in the group represents more than just diversity; it’s cultural bridge-building through music, showing that K-pop’s global reach isn’t just about Korean exports but about creating space for multiple cultures to coexist and collaborate.

Her message to Indian fans is heartfelt: “I always say this but I can’t help but mention how passionate our Indian READYs are. The times we performed in India are unforgettable and I can’t wait to go back and meet all our Indian READYs soon someday. I would love to travel across India and explore together with the girls.”

Learning to embrace the mess

Nizz perhaps summarises the album’s core message best: “Learning how to accept and control the many kinds of emotions that we naturally experience in life has made me stronger and understand myself better. I feel grateful to be able to share that journey with READYs through music.”

It’s a far cry from the typical K-pop narrative of achieving dreams through hard work and positive thinking. Instead, X:IN is acknowledging that strength comes from accepting messiness, that growth happens in the spaces between perfection and failure.

The revolution of being real

In an industry that often values manufactured perfection over authentic expression, X:IN’s willingness to showcase vulnerability might be their most revolutionary act yet. “Defend Myself” is a statement that says the idols have the right to be human, to struggle, to protect themselves from the very industry that created them.

As they move forward, X:IN is positioning themselves as artists first, idols second. They're betting that audiences are hungry for something real, something that speaks to the complexity of being young and famous and still figuring out who you are.

The album has already made waves since its release. In choosing authenticity over artifice, X:IN isn’t just defending themselves; they’re defending the right of all performers to be imperfect, complicated, and beautifully human.

But here’s the thing about breaking moulds. Once you shatter the first one, there’s no going back. X:IN has crossed the Rubicon of realness, and now every move they make will be scrutinised for authenticity. Can they maintain this level of vulnerability without it becoming another kind of performance? Will other groups follow their lead, or will they remain outliers in an industry that thrives on fantasy?

The answers matter less than the questions themselves. By daring to be messy, by choosing to “defend themselves” in public, X:IN has started a conversation that the K-pop industry desperately needed to have. They’ve proven that you can be both an idol and a human being, that the two don’t have to be mutually exclusive.

As Nova said, she’s “almost the person I dreamed of becoming, just a few more steps.” For X:IN, those final steps might just lead them to something unprecedented in K-pop: the freedom to be exactly who they are, flaws and all. And honestly? That's the kind of revolution worth defending.