From obedience to openness: How Indian parenting is being rewritten

Indian parents have embraced change in the evolving landscape of raising children. In homes that once echoed with strict rules and silent expectations, new sounds are emerging: gentle questions, affirming nods, and sometimes even apologies. Parenting in India is no longer defined solely by authority; it is being reshaped by emotional awareness, mental health vocabulary, and a collective desire to unlearn generational patterns.


For decades, Indian parenting was rooted in obedience. Respect was non‑negotiable, discipline was equated with love, and questioning parents was often seen as rebellion. Career choices were decided by family traditions, emotional conversations were rare, and individuality often bowed to duty. India’s National Family Health Survey (NFHS‑5, 2021‑22) reflects the persistence of traditional family structures, particularly in semi‑urban and rural areas, where strict parenting and conservative roles are still the norm.


Yet, in urban middle-class homes, a new generation of parents, shaped by globalization, therapy culture, and digital exposure is rethinking what it means to raise a child. Parenting discussions have shifted online, and search interest for positive parenting, emotional well‑being, and child mental health spiked during the pandemic, reflecting a cultural shift toward emotional literacy and more conscious child‑rearing.


To understand this transformation, Clinical Psychologist, Eepsita Sarma told India Today NE that Indian parenting has shifted from rigid authoritarian styles to more emotionally aware and individualized approaches. She explained that older generations largely relied on strict discipline and conformity, leaving minimal room for a child’s opinions or emotional needs. Today, she observed, parents are more mindful of emotional growth and mental health, recognizing that every child is different and may face unique challenges like anxiety, depression, or learning difficulties.


With the rise of nuclear families and dual-income households, parenting has also become more hands-on and individualized, which can be both empowering and stressful. Unlike joint‑family structures where community co‑parenting offered children multiple adult guides, today’s parents carry the responsibility almost alone, often leading to heightened involvement or “helicopter parenting.”


This generational shift comes alive in the personal reflections of parents themselves. While speaking to India Today NE, one father shared that his own mother disapproved of him getting close to girls or even mingling with friends who had girlfriends. Today, he consciously encourages his children to form friendships, build connections, and even experience love if it helps them grow into empathetic and self-aware adults. He admitted that he could never discuss awkward or personal matters with his own parents, but he has made it a priority to create a home where his children never feel that emotional distance.


Research supports this shift. UNICEF’s “State of the World’s Children 2021 – On My Mind” highlights that parental emotional support acts as a protective factor against adolescent anxiety and depression, reinforcing why emotional openness at home can shape healthier futures.


Eepsita Sarma further explained that emotionally supportive parenting builds psychological safety, giving children confidence to share freely without fear of judgment. This safe space nurtures empathy, problem-solving, and emotional regulation, equipping children to navigate conflicts without internalizing shame or fear. She emphasized that children raised in such environments maintain better mental health, learn life skills faster, and even heal more quickly if they face challenges like anxiety or academic pressure.


The evolution of Indian parenting, however, is not just about children; it is also a form of self‑healing for parents. Dr. Snigdhatanu Acharya, a parent and Assistant Professor (School of AI), Amrita University, reflected that modern parenting comes with an intensity that did not exist before, often described as “helicopter parenting.” Parents today, she said, are far more involved in every aspect of a child’s life, constantly monitoring and guiding, a stark contrast to the more unstructured and independent childhoods of earlier generations. She wants to give her daughter avenues to explore and the same encouragement she once received from her family. Through the way she parents, she feels she is healing something within herself. Her goal is to raise a child who feels inherently worthy, one who does not believe that love or rest must be earned through performance or perfection. She wants her daughter to embrace mistakes confidently and recognize that rest is a right, not a reward.


Yet, as liberating as this shift feels, it comes with new tensions and uncertainties. The same father who encourages openness also reflected that today’s parents are far more involved in their children’s lives than their own parents ever were. He noted that social media and constant digital access make parents hyper‑aware of their children’s activities, but he worries that too much involvement can sometimes backfire. He described the struggle of finding the line between being protective and being intrusive, calling parenthood a journey where your perspective evolves with your child’s growth and society’s expectations.


Eepsita Sarma added that consistency between parents is key. Modern families sometimes swing between extremes, one parent permissive, the other strict, leaving children confused about boundaries. Children thrive when expectations are clear, emotional needs are met, and parents present a united front. Balancing societal expectations with a child’s mental well‑being requires constant reflection and communication.


Ultimately, the shift in Indian parenting is a negotiation, not a revolution. Love remains the foundation, but its expression is changing from control to conversation, from obedience to openness. With every pause before punishment, every conversation instead of a command, and every moment of listening instead of dismissing, Indian parents are redrawing the meaning of raising a child.


Not perfectly. Not without doubt. But more consciously. And perhaps, in that consciousness, lies the quiet progress of a generation.